Hobbies and Guilt

Living in the era where slowing down for personal enjoyment is frowned upon.

What has happened to the age of hobbies? Dads building model airplanes in the basement and moms knitting because they enjoy it, not to mend or make something for someone. How has our time gotten so bound up that we feel guilty taking time to do something that brings us joy, with no strings attached? Is this just a mother thing? It doesn't seem to me like there are as many males or fathers that are concerned about this (in the age of videogames and beer pong), but maybe I'm wrong. (and I'm sure someone will tell me if this is the case)

Here is what I know. Even sitting here in this moment, taking time for myself to get all of these thoughts out of my head is stressful for me. I have a lot I should be doing right now...cleaning the house, meal prepping, errand running, but I am here. I am down to just one of my children for a few fleeting moments today and here I am at my computer. There is guilt and anxiety that come creeping in even though I know I need this outlet to help me be a better person. I would say writing/journaling is a 'hobby' of mine as well as painting, hiking, yoga, attempting to learn guitar. However, it is so difficult to let myself thoroughly enjoy any of those things because of guilt. How do we let that go?

What is guilt? It is "the fact of having commited a specified or implied offense or crime" according to Merriam-Webster. What crime or offense? WHAT?! Why do mothers feel as though they are doing something so severe just by filling their own emotional cup? The fact that our whole existence is focused on supporting tiny humans should give us enough of an allowance to spend time for ourself daily. How can we give so much of our self to others if we don't take a break and work on our emotional wellbeing?

In my exploration for a 'purpose' I would always start some schooling or course that I loved (or thought I would love) but would make money, because who doesn't want to love what they do? But, why? Why was there such a strong need to do something that could provide an income over learning for the simple pleasure of learning? Side note; gaining knowledge about things I am interested in is also a hobby of mine (check my ridiculous amounts of books and ask my friends because they will definitey say the same). It always seemed like my time away from my children needed to be spent on something that would still benefit my family (ie. income) because if I could justify my time away as being for the greater good of all it wasn't wrong to enjoy it. ( Although this mentality can get wonky really fast when you realize you don't love things the same way if you have to do it versus when you want to do it, because our minds are awesome like that huh?) What bullshit.

As a mother we should never have to feel as though our time to work on ourselves needs to be justified. Whether it is time at the gym, time painting, time learning a new language, mothers deserve a sliver of their 24 hours to just revolve around them. We are so fast paced, there is so much to worry about with kids and households not to mention mothers that work outside the home. All mothers need to step back and take a breath to evaluate what hobby or hobbies they have. Are they the same as they were before you had your child(ren)? When is the last time you actually did any of those things? Just you. Not with your kids as well. Just time alone to be present with the happiness your hobby gives you. Do not let your soul get brushed under the rug while you give all of your energy away to others. Give yourself the attention you truly deserve!

When was this sudden shift in acceptability of hobbies? Was there one exact moment or just a gradual fading over time? Do something for yourself every day. I am talking to you! Every damn day make sure you have done something (besides showering or peeing alone) for yourself. Be creative in your own way. Journal, roller skate, play a videogame, whatever your cup of tea is, just do it. You deserve to be fulfilled so you can be the best person and mother you can be. Let's take back hobbies. Let us be present and enjoy our time with ourself, no strings attached, because all humans need their emotional cup filled. You are loved by your children even if you are stepping away for an hour to get your shit together. Do you boo boo and drop the guilt.